Nov. 29th, 2007
03:49 pm - 12 days of Christmas
Sep. 21st, 2007
10:57 am - still lost
I have so many thoughts running through my mind its hard to start with one. I am at my 6th month mark and cant wait to see what my son looks like. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would ever have a child. Some days I wake up and dont even remember until I try to get up. Its kind of hard to believe I am married also. I dont even know who he is. It feels like a bad dream with a few good parts. My first marriage still hunts me and I feel as though my past is recurring. I thought I had found the one, but he too has destroyed all of my hopes of ever being truly happy. So now I just focus on my son and doing everything in my power to make his life the best. If he can be truly happy then maybe I can have some happiness too. Right now I am very bitter and lonely. I wish I could run away like I used to. To go back to the Black Hills, Alaska or God forbid the Valley, just to start over with my life again and lock away all that has torn me apart. But I know it wont happen now. I feel as though I have been locked in a prison that I will never find my escape. I miss my friends and the fun we would have if I were back home. Those days feel like a dream. Did they really happen? Was I happy once? Will I be again?
Sep. 8th, 2006
09:37 am - Im back
Well Here I am. I am back. My time here in the Army is crazy. I have very little time to do anything that people in the normal world would think of as easy. I miss all my friends, family and loved ones. I have no idea as to when I will be coming home for a visit at this time. The Army has changed me in so many ways I think the people back home will not know who I am anymore. I have lost a total of 108 lbs. Thats a Hollywood cat walk model right there. Pretty crazy. My knees are shot but there is nothing that can be done to fix them so I just have to "soldier on".
I have fulfilled my dream and made my father proud. I am delighted to say that I have done more in my life (26 years) than 3% of the nations population has done in thiers. I joined the Army in the time of war and earned the respect of the officers above me. In 5 months I have come a very long way and I know that over the next few years I will be one hell of an American Soldier. I bet my grandfather is jumping from cloud to cloud proud as hell right now!
In other news I am still finding it hard to move on to the next stages of my life alone without that one person that makes me feel hole. Someday I know he will find that it is ok to love and feel and be his self without the worry of hurting anyone with his emotions. He is a very strong man and I see so many great things come from him. I just wish he could see what I see. If he trusts me the way he says he does, then he will know that all is good. I am in love with him and I know that scares the hell out of him because of the way he thinks he feels or lack there of but I am here for him if he wants me.
So anyway I must go for now. My play time is over so I shall return the next time there is a little peace around here.
Loves to all,
Apr. 17th, 2006
Apr. 7th, 2006
06:38 pm - South Park
"Only the dead have seen the end of War" -Plato
Mar. 19th, 2006
08:44 pm - Game
Mar. 1st, 2006
02:47 pm - Dragon
My buddy Shane has this dragon that he made and is selling on Ebay. This is a must see and if you like, BUY IT!!!!!!!
You can also check out his profile at agent_arcangel
Feb. 22nd, 2006
08:39 pm - Sunday Night
I had such a wonderful time Sunday night.
(sorry got lost in watching Rob being an idiot...OMG)
Ok I'm back now. Its hard to type when he is here. Anyway I don't know what all I can say about Sunday other than WOW what a night.
I got to hear my friends sing and tell me about their week at war.
(ok there he goes again...Fucker!)
Maybe I should do this later. I can't stop laughing at him. Well now he stopped.
As long as the commercials are not on he's quiet.
In other news, My sister and I are going to get our tattoos that we have been wanting to get for about 13 years. Its going to be the 7 pointed star for protection on our journeys. I will have pics soon.
(now he's going off about boobies on tv...LOL)
Its one of the night you just have to be here. For the ones that know Rob, you know what I have to deal with. I swear he's is aging backwards.
More later I can't get into writing tonight.
Feb. 17th, 2006
06:48 pm - pics from party
Feb. 12th, 2006
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